


Hope this Feeling Lasts

by winterPearls



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Deaf Louis, Disability, Disabled Character, M/M, Sign Language, absolutely no angst whatsoever, aka his ear doctor, and harry is his boy, and he succeeds, and snow!, and some more sign language, babies in love, but modified it so that there was no surgery needed in order for them to work, fluffy socks and pancake breakfasts!, harry wants to give louis the best birthday ever, it's very sweet honestly, ive toyed with the idea of cochlear implants, liam is louis' otalaryngologist, louis is the birthday boy, louis is very cute and small, non-deaf harry, oh and some extremely cute ice skating on a pond, this whole thing is tooth achingly fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 11:09:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5926234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterPearls/pseuds/winterPearls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s so silent in his head, nothing but an obsolete emptiness that doesn’t match the brightness of his world nor the breath of life in his boy. <em>Harry,</em> he asks hesitantly, fingers shaking, <em>What does it sound like? A laugh, I mean. What does a laugh sound like?</em> </p><p> </p><p>or the AU where Louis is deaf but it's okay, because you don't need to hear someone say "I love you" when you can feel it every time they look at you. Louis celebrates his birthday in fuzzy socks, snow, and ice skates while Harry is simply Harry and gets his boy The Best Surprise Ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hope this Feeling Lasts

**Author's Note:**

> For the love of my life, Gina. this one is for you.
> 
> i made a [playlist](https://play.spotify.com/user/winterpearls/playlist/5dX4zD7evSDYZrIPLPld0j) for this fic, and you shoud listen to it and cry over fluffy larry songs and also because i think it fits quite well with the story. 
> 
> in the story, all of the sign language conversations are in _italics_ in order to get the full effect of harry and louis speaking, because although they aren't using their mouths they are _still_ speaking to one another.
> 
>  
> 
> **PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS NOT ENTIRELY REALISTIC OR MEDICALLY ACCURATE AND I AM NOT AN OTALARYNGOLOGIST.**
> 
>  
> 
> **THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION, MY DARLINGS.**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Title is taken from "Feels like Home" by Edwina Hayes

Louis hates waking up.

 

There are a lot of things that Louis hates, actually; he despises when people tap him rudely on the back when they think he’s ignoring them when in reality he just can’t hear them, he loathes when he goes to Starbucks and the annoying blonde barista always asks him to recite his order even though he always has it written out neatly onto a little slip of paper for her because she doesn’t speak sign language, and he especially hates waking up. 

 

Louis hates waking up alone even more, no lanky limbed boy sprawled out beside him. He hates waking up alone, just like right now. 

 

He huffs out a breath, struggling to get his head free of the heavy layer of pastel quilts that the aforementioned lanky boy must have thrown on top of him as he slept, and peeks out the top of his little blanket nest to peer around the room in search of a curly haired lad. He blinks sleepily against the gust of cold air that rushes against his sleep warm face, the dusky cream colour of their bedroom walls washed in a bright haze from the sun bouncing off the snow piled just outside the large bay windows. He snuffles quietly, tugging a sweater paw up to rub at his cold nose, before reaching out to pat at the place where his boy **SHOULD** be laying. He pouts when he finds it barely even warm, the sheets rumpled and slightly indented from where Harry’s body had been before he’d decided to get up before noon.

 

With a sigh, Louis sinks back into his nest, frowning a bit at the fact that Harry left him alone in bed even though he knows that Louis hates it more than anything. He stretches, curling and uncurling his toes and arching his back before flopping on his side and running his hands over Harry’s soft place on the bed. If Harry had been there, he thinks drowsily while itching his tummy with a cold finger, Louis probably would’ve woken him up by now, nosing into the tangle of fluffy curls at the base of Harry’s neck to get him to turn around to give Louis his mandatory morning kiss. Louis would have scratched through Harry’s hair, smiling at the way Harry would’ve purred against his fingertips like a content kitten, and he would’ve mushed his face into the front of Harry’s neck, maybe mouthed at the silky skin there and maybe pecked at the lovely violet love bite he’d left there the night before.

 

They could’ve had a morning romp, if Harry had stayed in bed.

 

But he didn’t.

 

Sigh.

 

Frustrated and in dire need of attention from his favorite boy in the universe, he begins to kick off the sheets in a violent manner, losing a fluffy sock in the process of breaking free from the literal cocoon of blankets that Harry had all but swaddled him in. Finally quilt-free, Louis sits in the middle of the bed with his legs stretched out as he stares forlornly at his un-socked foot, pitying how cold his toes are and wishing he could magically re-sock his foot, when he is basically bombarded with the sweet smell of pancakes flowing in from the door.

 

He feels a whimper escape his mouth at the scent, the dizzying smell of warm cinnamon and sweetly spicy nutmeg making his mouth water and his tummy rumble. All grumpiness at Harry being out of bed and sadness at losing his sock in the blankets is gone, a toothy grin in its place as he hops off the bed and onto dark swirling wood floors. Hissing slightly at the cold floor on his one exposed foot, he scampers off towards the slightly ajar door, glancing briefly outside the window to inspect the powdered snow that falls in thick flakes and coats their whole yard and driveway in thick vanilla clouds. 

 

Louis pads down the dark hallway, trailing his fingers along the framed photographs of himself and Harry that are tacked along the walls, and turns to find the love of his life shimmying his narrow hips and dancing his little heart out as perfect pancakes cook on the stove.

 

His heart stutters in his chest and he feels warmth zip through him from head to toe because, while there are a lot of things Louis hates and also a lot of things he loves, Louis Tomlinson absolutely adores Harry Styles.

 

Louis stands in the hallway and watches Harry “dance” for a heartbeat, eyes crinkling softly and pink lips drawn up in a fondly exasperated smile, before his feet are slipping across the floor of the kitchen and he’s latching himself to Harry’s back and plastering himself along the lean lines of his boy.

 

He feels Harry tense for a brief moment before he goes pliant, letting Louis nip at his shoulders and grope sleepily at his bum. Louis feels Harry’s frame shaking from what must be laughter, pressing his smile against the sweetly scented fabric of Harry’s white long sleeve, and loosens his hold on Harry when he feels him twisting in the embrace.

 

Suddenly, he’s met with a faceful of absurdly beautiful boy as Harry turns around completely, looping his long arms around Louis’ neck and blinking pretty jade eyes at Louis with full lashes and pouting his dark pink lips as he asks for a kiss. More than happy to oblige, Louis presses up, placing his lips on Harry’s pretty mouth softly. He presses one, two, three sugary sweet kisses against Harry’s lush mouth, nipping gently at the generous swell of Harry’s fuller bottom lip as Harry tugs gently at the thick hair at the base of Louis’ neck. Harry shudders against him, slotting his lips in with Louis’ and suckling sweetly before pulling away and mouthing against the stubble of Louis’ chin. Louis feels his face break into a dopey smile, placing a kiss on the tip of Harry’s nose before pulling back so that he can properly say hello his boy.

 

 _Good morning, H!_ he signs, fingers lax and easy. Harry dips his head in greeting, eyes crinkling softly and lips swollen from kisses, long fingers excitedly asking, _Have a good sleep, babe? I made pancakes._ Louis widens his eyes comically, _You made pancakes???? I hadn’t noticed._ Harry makes an indignant face, narrowing his sparkling jade eyes in mock offense, _Very funny, birthday boy. We’ll see who’s laughing when I don’t give you your birthday surprise as payback for that sass, mister._ He raises a fist threateningly, shaking it at Louis as Louis giggles.

 

oh yeah. It’s Louis’ birthday.

 

 _You wouldn’t deny me my surprise, Harold!! Everyone knows you’re in love with me though, so if that was the surprise it’s pretty weak….just saying,_ he shrugs, bright eyes dancing with mischief and happiness. He loves teasing Harry, always has since the day they met. He laughs some more when Harry scowls at him, scary expression rendered useless by the happy quirk of his plush mouth and the way his eyes are almost crinkled shut as he smiles.

 

 _Whatever, Lewis. Maybe I just won’t give you all the pancakes instead! Maybe I’ll take them to the neighbor and he can eat all the pancakes and you can just sit there and cry while you watch me leave you for him and play in the snow!_ Harry signs, fingers waggling venomously to drive his threat home. Now it’s Louis’ turn to pout because _**hey**_! It’s _**his**_ birthday and _**he**_ should get _**all**_ the pancakes and _**all**_ the kisses, not his stupid neighbor with stupid hair that hosts a stupid radio talk show, thinking he rules the world just because he’s somewhat famous.

 

 _It’s my birthday, Harry! You can’t threaten to break my heart by giving my own birthday brekkie to my mortal enemy. It’s like, the law or something,_ Louis pouts, crossing his arms around himself and prodding at Harry’s leg with his unsocked foot. Immediately, Harry’s stance softens. All the play fighting has seeped out of his lean frame as he tilts his head and crowds forward into Louis’ space, folding himself like an origami crane in order for him to cram his face into the crook of Louis’ neck.

 

 _I’d never break your heart, darling,_ Harry signs against his chest, _I’m stupidly in love with you and I want to give you all the pancakes in the whole world and- hey!_ he shoots a pointed look at Louis’ bare foot before continuing, _Where’s your other sockie!! It’s far too chilly for you to be going barefoot now, and you don’t want to be sick when we go get your present._

 

At Harry’s words, Louis feels a flush of pleased heat crawl up his face. He and Harry have been together for ages, since they were just wee babes, but he still doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to hearing Harry tell him that he loves him.

 

He pulls away to fiddle with the hem of his shirt, skirting his eyes up to meet Harry’s soft gaze. _You love me, Styles??_ He asks with his hands shyly, poking Harry in the soft tummy. Harry smiles sweetly as he closes the distance between them, cupping Louis’ face in his palms before letting go to sign, _Of course I love you, Louis. I always have, even when we were just amoebas or chromosomes in our parent’s bodies or whatever. It’s just the way things are._

 

Louis flushes prettily again, teeth digging into his bottom lip as he wiggles his eyebrows at Harry. _Oh yeah, Styles. Love it when you talk physiology and mitosis to me._ He grins, pleased, as Harry tosses his head back to laugh, exposing the white column of his throat, and Louis is suddenly overwhelmed with the sudden wish to be able to hear; for surely there is nothing better sounding than the sound of making the one you love laugh.

 

He smiles again, softer this time and slightly wistful, before he reaches a hand up to cup Harry’s face. Harry glances down at him, emerald eyes sparkling, as his soft gaze rests on the easy movements of Louis’ hands. _I love you too, you know. I love you an awfully ridiculous amount, Harry Styles, and I would really like to eat some pancakes with you._

 

Harry leans down slightly, capturing the shell pink of Louis’ lips with his own for a beat, before leaning back and gesturing for Louis to go sit at their old dining room table.

 

_Then let’s eat some pancakes._

  
  
  
  
  ***********  
  
  
  


One, two, three, four.

 

Four beautifully fluffy, evenly golden and whipped cream topped pancakes are piled high on the chipped green plate before Louis, and they’re beautiful. Almost as beautiful as the hands that made them, Louis muses thoughtfully as his eyes trace the slender lines of Harry’s pale hands, almost but not quite.

 

 _Harry, these look wonderful, darling. Thank you for my birthday breakfast._ Louis thanks sweetly, his hair still rumpled from sleep and his eyes still slightly puffy. Harry smiles back, cheeks dimpling beautifully. _Happy Birthday, my love! Can’t wait for you to see your present. Or, one of them at least._ Louis smiles back cheekily, making grabby hands at the syrup that is resting beside Harry’s well used blue plate. Harry rolls his eyes at Louis, mouthing **so impatient** at him, before nudging it over to Louis.

 

They’re sitting across from each other at their lovely oaken table, icy sunlight filtering in and landing on the shiny kitchen tiles, their feet brushing over the other’s ankles as they sit. Louis is wearing two plush socks again, thankfully, and Harry is wearing his own pair of fluffy socks as well. The socks are quite cute, a present their beloved friend Niall gave them, with Louis’s socks dotted with miniature hedgehogs and Harry’s socks adorned with two smiling froggie faces. 

 

They suit them pretty well. 

 

As they start to eat their pancakes, two warm stacks drowned in sweet maple syrup, Louis watches Harry. He watches Harry a lot, it’s not something new, and he never gets tired of it. Harry is like this intricate painting, stormy greens and dusky pinks swirled with sable browns on an alabaster canvas. He’s stunningly beautiful, his boy, and he’s just as pretty, if not more so, on the inside. He’s the warmest person Louis has ever known, with a heart of pure gold and a soul of the richest ruby red. Harry deserves the world and more, and Louis is so utterly lucky to have this lion hearted boy in his life to eat overly sweet breakfast foods with.

 

Before Harry, Louis wasn’t the happiest of people. He was somewhat quiet and he often felt quite alienated; not being able to hear and only being able to speak with his hands was not something most kids had in common with him, which resulted in a lot of time spent at home with his mum and reading books. His world had been cold with no light to filter through the darker points, until the day he’d met Harry. Unlike Louis, Harry wasn’t deaf; he could hear and speak normally, but once he’d learned Louis was deaf, he’d had learned basic phrases and words and started to draw Louis out of his shell with jerkily signed greetings or fun facts, so hopeless at sign language that Louis had practically been forced to teach him the correct way to sign.

 

It was the right thing to do, after all.

 

Just like the right thing to do when Harry came up to him one day, his little hands shaking and his fluffy baby curls pushed nervously to the side as asked him out on a date to the ice cream parlor for milkshakes in almost perfect sign language, had been to smack a kiss to his baby round cheek and nod a fervent “Yes!”

 

It was the right thing to do.

 

Louis blinks away the image of a 16 year old Harry from his mind, opting instead to look at his own 22 year old version now. He grins fondly as Harry brings a fork of light brown bread up to his mouth, giggling softly at the absurd way Harry eats with his tongue sticking out way before the food is even near his mouth. At his laugh, Harry glances up, smirking, _What’re you looking at, Lewis?_ Louis smiles back, opening his mouth to show off the partially chewed food in his mouth before swallowing and signing, _Your tongue. It pokes out when you eat and I quite like to watch it. It’s like a little landing strip for an airplane!_ Harry shakes his head, laughing again, before wiping his hands on a napkin. _Almost done with your food, Lou? I was thinking we could go ice skating on the pond behind the house before we head out to go pick up your present._

 

Louis nods happily, shoveling more food in his mouth and smiling briefly when he feels Harry nudging at his tiny feet with his own two huge ones. _Yeah, that sounds fun! There’s nothing I like better than watching you fall on your ass, Harold, You know me so well._ Harry rolls his eyes, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand before using one hand to sign something everyone knows.

 

A middle finger.

 

Louis lets out a squawk, tossing his head back and laughing at Harry’s absurdity and utter childish behavior. He feels Harry push his chair back and pad around the table to come stand behind Louis’ chair. Louis stops laughing for a moment, meeting eyes with Harry. His head is still tossed back and Harry leans down to give him a Spiderman style kiss, chasing the sweet taste of syrup and cinnamon out of Louis’ warm and inviting mouth. Louis is breathless when he pulls away, fanning himself dramatically, before signing, _Okay okay, let’s go get ready then. Can we take a shower?_

 

Harry rolls his eyes, faking annoyance, before Louis starts to pout and tug at his hands. _Okay okay, we can take a shower. Even though it’s fucking freezing outside,_ he relents, earning an armful of a happily squirming Louis. Louis kisses him solidly on the mouth once as he starts to lead Harry to their bedroom, only to have Harry halt them. Raising a questioning brow at him, Louis waits for Harry’s explanation as to why they’re still standing in the cold kitchen when they could be standing under hot water in the bathroom. Harry is smiling, (eerily similar to the frogs on his socks), as he signs, _Can I carry you to the room? You’re awfully cute and awfully small and I’d like to carry you._

 

Louis feels his face flush again, before grumpily telling Harry, _I’m not small._ Harry grins back, itching his fingers under Louis’ shirt and tapping his side once before removing his hand and answering, _I’m not hearing a ‘no’, Louis….._ Louis stares at him for a minute before sighing and nudging his face into Harry’s chest and nodding his head. Harry smacks a kiss to the top of his head before picking him up so that Louis’ legs are wrapped around his waist and his hands are firmly on Louis’ bum. Louis loops his arms around his boy’s neck, pecking his nose once before letting go briefly just to say, _You’re so weird, Harold, and you’re always touching me. It is honestly harassment, I might sue you for it._ Harry bares his teeth in response and promptly trots off to the bathroom, depositing Louis on the floor when they get to the room and with a sly smirk that causes Louis’ heart to race and his breathing to catch, he signs back filthily, _You love it when I touch you, baby._

 

In a flash they’re under the warm spray of the shower, steam curling up around them and water bouncing off the tiles and off of Harry’s back as he kneels gracefully in front of Louis. And as he grabs a hold of Louis where he’s hard, Louis decides that maybe he won’t sue Harry after all.

  
  
  
  
  ***********  
  
  
  


No matter how many times Louis tries to convince Harry that he’s about as graceful as a newborn baby deer, Harry always manages to look hilariously shocked when he inevitably falls smack on his ass in the middle of the frozen pond.

 

Louis is still wheezing, legs threatening to give out from how weak his uncontrollable laughter made him, when he glides over to help pick up Harry from the frigid ice of the pond. The frozen ice feels satisfying under the blades of his skates, skidding smoothly across the glimmering surface of the pond as he reaches the spot where Harry is sitting huddled with an embarrassed rose blush high on his cheeks. Louis smiles sweetly at him, sticking out a green mitten clad hand to help him up off the hard ice. Harry’s blue beanie is slightly askew on his curls, wild tendrils of sable waves curling onto his flushed cheeks, and Louis feels an intense wave of affection roll over his person as he looks at Harry. Unable to stop himself, he leans up to press a sound smooch to the underside of Harry’s jaw. _You alright love?,_ he asks, trailing a fingertip up Harry’s forearm and peering up at Harry. He has to squint though, as the sun is out and is glinting off the reflective surface of the pond and making Harry’s wild curls look like a halo and, he’s not gonna lie, he’s kind of starstruck because, well. 

 

Harry’s really fucking beautiful, okay?

 

Harry nods, a touch of color still tinting his porcelain cheeks as he says, _Didn’t expect the ice to be that hard._ Louis grins up at him again, thumbing at his cheek before replying, _It’s alright, Harry. We all fall sometimes, yeah?_ He can tell harry is still a bit shy, as he always wants Louis to think of him as nothing other than cool and collected, so he presses up again and loops his hands behind Harry’s head.

 

He pulls Harry down to meet his mouth, smiling against the slight chapped feeling of Harry’s lips against his own. He kisses Harry softly, mouth lax and soft. He loves kissing Harry, could do it for hours on end, especially when Harry needs a little bit of confidence booster. He’s still so much like that goofy smiled sixteen year old that Louis fell in love with, still needs a bit of soft attention and lazy kisses to assure him that Yes, Louis does love him very much. Even when he’s a klutz. He pulls back, pecking Harry once more very softly before skating back a bit so Harry can see him sign a very sweet and very genuine, _I love you very much, my beautiful baby deer._

 

Harry meets his eyes, no longer embarrassed by his little tumble on the ice. _You love me, Louis?_ he asks, mimicking Louis’ earlier question as he scuffs at the ice with one skate. Louis makes a silly face, nodding exaggeratedly and skating closer to Harry. _Of course I’m in love with you Harry Styles. You’re my favorite person in the entire world. The entire galaxy even!_

 

He watches Harry break out into a sweet blush at his words, happy and glowing and radiant. He’s like a miniature star, Harry, beautifully bright and wonderfully pale and so deserving of everyone in the world’s awe. _I love you more, Lewis,_ Harry answers, skating wobbly along so that he can get closer to Louis and link their arms. Louis pushes off gently, holding Harry securely on his arm so that they can skate some more before it’s time to go to Louis’ Surprise Present Location. They skate smoothly, catching clumps of ice occasionally and squeezing together closer at random intervals. They’re incredibly in sync, the way their bodies move so seamlessly and flawlessly. Harry’s like an anchor at his side, constant and comforting, and the sunlight gleaming on the ice casts a rainbow across a distant part of the pond. Harry points it out to Louis, smiling fondly when Louis raises his eyebrows in joy at it. 

 

He meets Harry’s eyes, icy jade gazing back at fiery blue, and he’s about to ask for a kiss when he feels one of Harry’s skates catch in his and then they’re crumbling toward the chilly surface of the pond.

 

They land in a heap of tangled legs and ruffled hair, and they lie still for a moment until he feels Harry’s frame shaking beside his with laughter and he feels his own chest loosen in relief that they’re both okay. They remain on the icy pond, legs twisted up, but they roll onto their sides to look at the other. Harry is still hiccupping out little laughs, his shoulders shaking. Not for the first time today, Louis feels a pang of sadness hit him in the chest as he watches his boy laugh. It’s so silent in his head, nothing but an emptiness that doesn’t match the brightness of his world nor the breath of life in his boy. 

_Harry,_ he asks hesitantly, _What does it sound like? A laugh, I mean. What does a laugh sound like?_

 

Beside him, Harry stills. His eyes trace Louis’ face gently, examining every freckle and every eyelash with this intensity in his gaze that puzzles Louis. When Harry remains silent for a minute longer, Louis feels a flush creep up his neck, embarrassed at his childish question. He raises his hands, ready to tell Harry to forget his stupid question when Harry takes a deep breath and starts to sign, hands moving like they were born for the signed language.

 

 _A laugh. Hmmm, let’s see. Well, I suppose the only way to describe the way a laugh sounds is bright. It sounds like the way the sun bounces off the ice, warm and kind of blinding, you know? It sounds like bubbles, I guess, round and full and light, like the way that foam kind of builds and fills up tons of space, yeah? There are different laughs though, you know? There are laughs like mine that honestly sound the way that coffee being ground up looks. Mine is dark and heavy, like the way coffee grinds whirl around in the pot yeah? Yours, though. Yours is something else. It sounds like…..like that time we went to the fair! We went to the fair and you asked from some fairy floss so we went to the vendor and there were all these bright colors flying around at top speeds, remember?? There were the most vibrant pinks and blues, remember? And they were so pretty on their own, little floating pieces of fluff! The sweets were so bright and plush and the way they just built and built and then became something so softly wonderful and so worth the long ass line, yeah? Like, they were fantastic on their own, but all captured in such a sweet bundle, that’s what your laugh sounds like. It sounds like fairy floss, and it might be even sweeter than that. I love your laugh, Louis. Does that make sense?_

 

Louis had stopped breathing from the moment Harry had started to sign, completely captivated by the liquidity of Harry’s words and the way they seeped like molten gold across the chilly ice and spilled onto Louis’ chest, warming him up and filling him to the brim with love so intense and pure that he felt dizzy with it. Louis was stunned, he was speechless; never in a million years had he ever thought he could hope to understand the feeling of a laugh, and here he was, in shock at the way Harry had broken it down so simply and so easily. He had painted such a vivid imagine in Louis’ mind that he couldn’t help but wonder if he actually could hear a laugh now, since the love of his life had just opened up a whole new world for him. He was overwhelmed with how loved he felt, how treasured and how special, and he honestly could do nothing else but smile weakly and close his eyes.

 

He felt Harry move beside him, sit up and loom over Louis’ still form on the ice, and he startled a bit when he felt something on his cheek but it was just Harry’s rough fingertip wiping away wetness below his eyes that he hadn’t even known was there. He opened his eyes to meet warm emerald ones peeking down at him, soft and ethereal. Harry pulled him up until they were both sitting, bits of frost clinging to their jackets and the ends of Harry’s hair and in the long swoop of Louis’ eyelashes. _You alright, Lou?_ Harry asked, brushing a snowflake off of Louis’ cheek from where it had landed.

 

It had started to snow, and they were sitting in the middle of an ice rink. Two idiots in love.

 

Harry, Louis said, hands trembling as he felt tears well in his eyes again. _Yeah, Lou?_ Harry asked, slight concern etched in his brow as he watched Louis try not to spill any tears. _**Harry,**_ he signed again, throat thick and nose cold as the snow started to flutter down more thickly. _Yes darling, I’m right here. Are you okay?_ Harry asked, hand reaching out to wipe away the tears that had escaped and were trickling down Louis’ cold cheeks. _Harry, do you understand what you’ve just done for me? You’ve just given me the best present of all! You’re so special, Harry, so special to me. How many people would’ve had an actual answer to that question, honestly? You just poured out the most wonderful explanation of something I have no hopes of ever being able to experience and you did it. I know what a laugh is now, so clearly that I can imagine what it might be like to actually hear it. This is the best birthday of my life, and I’m so glad I’m spending it with you._

 

He took a deep breath, brushing away more tears and smiling wobbly at Harry, who was looking at him with a stunned expression on his face. _I’m not sure why you’re thanking me,_ he signed slowly, a smile flickering to life on his pink mouth, _because I’m just glad I have the opportunity to spend it with YOU. And hopefully, we spend every single one with each other, because I don’t think I would ever want it any other way. I’m kind of super in love with you, you know?_

 

He smiled dopily, tilting his head and pursing his lips as he asked for a kiss. Louis smiled back, chest light and airy, before launching himself at Harry and gripping his face in his hands. They looked at each other for a moment, tracing the falling snowflakes on the others eyelashes before leaning in softly. They met in the middle, trading soft open mouthed presses and sweet tongues trailing over tiny nips. They kissed gently, smiling and laughing against the other’s mouth before separating, laughing at how their eyelashes were sticking with the thick falling snow and trying to catch pretty flakes on their pink tongues.

 

Heart feeling lighter than the snow resting on Harry’s beanie, Louis stood up and help Harry stand as well, brushing of his pants before signing, _C’mon Haz, let’s get out of here. I still have one present left right? Before we can go home and kiss some more before we knock out on the couch, right?_

 

Harry nodded happily, eyes alight with excitement as he realized it was time for Louis’ Big Surprise Present Reveal. _Yup, one more big HUGE present. Let’s go!_

 

And so they went, tripping and laughing as they struggled to move their numb bodies off the cold ice and into the warmth of a heated car.

 

Louis bounced excitedly in his seat, legs and hands thawing in the heat of the now warm car, as he asked over and over again, _where are we going! Where are we going!_ Meanwhile Harry sat with a smug smile on his face and refused to answer the question, eyes on the road as he started to drive off to the destination of The Surprise.

  
  
  
  
  ***********  
  
  
  


They were at the fucking otolaryngologist’s office.

 

Or in other words, they were at Louis’ fucking **EAR DOCTOR**.

 

Needless to say, Louis was pretty unhappy. He’d always hated the ear doctor, having spent far too many days in the stuffy office waiting for hours on end just to have his ears prodded at and poked in by different doctors all throughout his life. This was bound to be no different, and when he complained to Harry, Harry just rolled his eyes and rapidly told him, _Calm down, Louis. I just came by to pick something up really quick, okay? No need for the death stares_.

 

So with a scowl and a significantly damper mood than half an hour ago, Louis held onto Harry’s hand and scampered up the stairs to the horrid place. 

 

(He made a note to stick his cold toes into Harry’s warm calves later as punishment for this unnecessary visit to the worst place in the world.) 

 

As soon as they stepped into the mint scented lobby filled with patients waiting with glazed eyes as they read water stained magazine copies from the like, 1600’s, Louis felt a piece of himself die. He really didn’t like it there and the more he discretely sized the place up and down, the more he found that he despised; didn’t like the potted plant that had one droopy leaf, didn’t like the ugly sneer of a notoriously awful but quite well known otolaryngologist named Simon Cowell on one of the magazine covers, and really didn’t like the hungry looks the secretary named Danielle kept shooting him.

 

He was about to tug on Harry’s hand to ask if they could go when the doctor swept into the room, caterpillar eyebrows furrowed as he scanned the room for the next ~~victim~~ patient. When his brown eyes landed on Harry and then flitted down to Louis curled into his side, his face lit up like a mini sun. Louis watched as he spoke aloud, getting the attention of only Harry,(as he was the only other non-deaf person in the room aside from the secretaries). Harry squeezed Louis’ hand once before he strode over to the doctor and exchanged a few hushed words with him. Louis kept his gaze trained on Harry’s lips, catching the words ‘Birthday Surprise’, ‘secret for months’, ‘no idea’, and ‘life changing’.

 

He watched with wary eyes as the two men walked back over to Louis, Harry reaching him first and pressing a swift kiss to his cheek once before moving back to allow the doctor to speak to Louis. _Hello, Louis. Happy Birthday!! I’m Dr. Payne, or Liam is fine too. Why don’t you come on back to the auditory testing room with me, there’s something lovely waiting for you back there,_ he signed, fingers moving surprisingly easily despite their thickness. His eyes were kind up close, warm like the pancakes Harry had made earlier in the day. With a quick smile, Louis threw Harry a glance, who was pointedly looking at his own boots with a dimpled smile on his face. _Hi Payne. Do I have to go back there? I don’t want to seem rude or anything but I can assure you,_ he cast a pointed look around the room, _there is nothing that I might want here._

 

Liam laughed, true delight shining in his eyes as he rubbed a hand over the soft fuzz of his sheared hair. _Why Louis, I think you’re gonna want what’s back there. Trust me._ He smiled again, warm and inviting and everything any other otolaryngologist had never been before. Louis frowned once, reaching over to tug at Harry’s hand once, before nodding slowly at Liam.

 

 _Excellent!! Okay, come with me right this way guys!_ he signed happily, clapping Louis on the back as he lead them through the door into the back of the office where the patient rooms were. Louis walked slowly, clasping Harry’s hand tightly in his own as the bright lights glinted on the linoleum floors. Liam led them into a back room with a table, two chairs, a cabinet and sink, a strange box on the tabletop, a bench, and a small box wrapped in green wrapping paper with a gold bow. Louis and Harry stepped into the room, with Liam shutting the door behind them.

 

He gestured for Louis to hop onto the bench beside the present, and once Louis had seated himself comfortably, Liam brought his hands together and gestured for Harry to start speaking.

 

_So, Louis Tomlinson. Today is your birthday and I have a confession to make. This past year when we’ve come to have your ‘checkups’, they haven’t actually been checkups. They’ve actually been fittings and testings for the device that’s in that box there. So go ahead and open it, and then I’ll continue to talk._

 

Louis couldn’t believe his eyes. Harry had been lying to him??? And making come to this horrible place under the pretense of routine checkups??? He glared at Harry, snatching the box up and tearing the paper off. When he found a plain cardboard box, he let out a huff of frustrated breath and popped to the top off to find-

 

Two small ear pieces, much like hearing aides in appearance.

 

He stared blankly at the appliances, unsure whether this was a cruel joke or something even worse. He felt his throat clench as he stared at the appliances, taunting him with their newness and sleek look.

 

 _Is this some joke then? You bloody know better than anyone that I can’t hear for shit and you’re giving me hearing aides?? Funny joke, Harry, but I don’t get it,_ he said slowly, hurt threatening to come through in the form of angry tears. Harry widened his eyes in surprise, hands quickly coming up and rapidly clearing the air. _No you silly boy! This isn’t some prank or anything like that at all! Quite the opposite in fact. You’ve heard of cochlear implants, correct? Well these devices are like that, in the sense that they can **give you the ability to hear sounds, like a non-deaf person can!** Don’t you see, Louis? You’re going to be able to hear!_

When he finished signing, Harry’s hands were shaking and his eyes were trained on Louis’ face. Louis was staring at Harry’s hands, not breathing and not blinking at all, as he tried to process what he’d just been told.

He. Was going to be able. To. Hear.

Hear.

_**HE WAS GOING TO BE ABLE TO HEAR** _

Louis let out a gasp, shaking hands coming up to cover his mouth as he started to tremble from head to toe. He saw Harry let out a watery chuckle, saw Harry cross the small distance between them to bury his face in Louis’ neck and let out shaky exhalations of breath as they held each other close. _Harry!_ Louis shouted, hands vibrating as he signed excitedly, _Harry Styles, you’ve given me ears for my birthday, you huge idiot! Oh my god I love you so much my darling Haz I love you so so much!! thank you darling, thank you!!!_

He laughed, holding Harry’s face in his hands while Harry peppered kisses all over his face, not taking a break to even answer Louis’ question. He looked over to Liam, who was watching them with a misty expression. Louis smiled sweetly at Liam, letting go of Harry briefly to say, _Liam Payne! How do my new ears work!!!_ Liam laughed, hurriedly explaining that, _A cochlear implant is an electronic medical device that replaces the function of the damaged inner ear. Unlike hearing aids, which make sounds louder, cochlear implants do the work of damaged parts of the inner ear to provide sound signals to the brain!_

Louis laughed, chest light and head full of images of coffee grinds and fairy floss, cradling Harry’s glowing face to his body as Liam went on setting everything about, flipping tiny switches and pressing miniscule buttons until everything was ready.

Harry backed away to sit a chair beside the table while Liam came over to Louis, softly placing each device on his ears until he was satisfied with their placement and stood in front of Louis with a happy expression in his eyes.

_Okay Louis, so first things first; Everything will sound very high pitched at first but that’s okay, it’s only normal for you to perceive the sounds that way as it’s the first time in your whole life you’ll be hearing anything, right? Secondly, your own voice might startle you when you speak, as the sound does reverberate the tiniest bit in your own skull. Another thing; when I first turn the appliances on, just as a sort of test run I am going to recite the days of the week, the names of an assortment of fruits, some animal names, and a few foods just to get you used to the sound of somewhat neutral items before I let Harry speak to you. And lastly, happy birthday. I am very happy for you and Harry, and I honestly wish you all the best. Okay, tell me when you’re ready, Lou. We’re all set!_

His heart racing and his head spinning, Louis called Harry over with fidgety fingers. Harry, I’m afraid, he said, hands trembling. _Do you still love me, Harry? Even though I’m about to be able to hear and maybe things will be different. Do you think you’ll still love me?_ He looked away from Harry, embarrassed by these silly thoughts running through his mind and cheeks flushing scarlet at the thought of Harry thinking he was dumb for worrying about what seemed like such trivial things.

He felt Harry brushing his chin up, and reluctantly met eyes with him. His breath caught as he gazed into Harry’s eyes, stunned into silence by the intensity of his stare. _Louis, you silly beautiful boy. I’ve loved you since the day we met. Of course I’ll love you after this. I’ll love you after this and after we get married and have ten thousand babies and I’ll love you after we go to heaven or are turned back into amoebas or whatever happens. I’m horribly fond of you, and I think you’re rather fond of me as well, so sorry. You being able to hear isn’t going to chase me away. Sorry, but not sorry._

Louis felt his eyes well with tears, and he laughed and dragged Harry’s hand up to his mouth so he could brush it against his mouth. He let it go, taking a deep breath as he turned to Liam and said _I’m ready, Payno. Give me ears!_

Liam smiled at him once, placing a comforting squeeze once on his knee before reaching up and pressing a button on both ear pieces gently.

  
  
  
  
  ***********  
  
  
  


__Immediately, Louis heard what he could only describe as fast._ _

__

__Whatever the sound was, it was fast and brought to mind images of a hummingbird’s wings and the way they beat almost too rapidly to be seen. He furrowed his brows, confused as to what that fast sound was, when he realized the racing sound matched up with his breathing. He stilled, wondering if HE was the source of the hummingbird wing beat and moving slightly on the bench only to jump a mile into the air when the protective paper underneath him crunched. It sounded like the way dry leaves looked when he crunched them underfoot, or the way that it felt to chew a stale Dorito, like rocks and dirt being rubbed together. The paper was rustling!!!_ _

__

__He laughed and then knocked his head against the wall, taken aback by the sound that punched out of him. He couldn’t even be hurt for too long, the sound of his head smacking against the wall too much like what dropping a heavy book looks like, and startling him to the point of the hummingbird wings to come back again._ _

__

__He calmed down some, steadying his breathing till his breathing pattern resembled how Ernest and Doris’ chests looked while they slept, when his world was entirely flipped upside down and inside out by the sound of a voice._ _

__

__“Louis Tomlinson,” it said, sounding like a dash of cream in an espresso or the way that it looks to swipe a finger across polished sandalwood. This voice was smooth, like a sip of a dark pint in Niall’s pub or saddle soap. It was polished, and made Louis think of mandatory tea times and of stethoscopes and thick stationary._ _

__

__It was Liam!_ _

__

__“Louis Tomlinson, my name is Liam Payne,” he drawled slowly, sophistication dripping from every vowel and syllable, the intelligence so present it was palpable! “And today is Saturday, the Twenty-fourth of December. I have a dog named Watson, my hair is brown, and I enjoy a good chicken fajita. I’ll repeat this statement again, Louis Tomlinson.”_ _

__

__Louis felt his eyes well with tears and he heard himself making the sounds and injured animal or a fussy baby might make as Liam Payne repeated his statement again. Liam Payne enjoyed large dogs along with his brown hair and his fajitas._ _

__

__Louis might love Liam Payne and his smart voice and sandalwood gravel._ _

__

__“Okay, Louis Tomlinson would you like an apple? Or would you like to pet an alpaca? How about a conversation with Harry Styles? Harry Styles would like to have a conversation with you, Louis Tomlinson.”_ _

__

__Okay, Louis definitely loves Liam Payne and he also wouldn’t mind eating an apple, thanks._ _

__

__“Okay Harry Styles, you can go ahead and talk with Louis,” Liam said, fine wine in a polished glass. Louis watched as Harry stood up from he had resumed his place in the chair and walked across the floor to stand about two feet in front of Louis’ perch on the bench. He cleared his throat, eyes shining wetly as he watched Louis murmur happily at the sound, the deep rasp of Harry’s throat sounding like tossing logs onto a fireplace._ _

__

__“Louis, I’m Harry,” an angel said, rich crushed velvet sliding over Louis and sending zips of pleasure down his spine and simultaneously stoking a fire low in the pit of Louis’ belly. “I’m your boyfriend, Harry Styles, and I love you very very much,” the angel continued, pouring the warmest amber ale down Louis’ throat and showering him with the prettiest facetted rubies and jewels in the world. This voice was different than Liam’s, Louis noted happily, tears streaking down his face. This voice was warm nights spent cuddled up in bed with the body heat of another soaking into your every pore and keeping you warm, it was the inkiest black ink of a fresh tattoo; raw and tender and unlike anything in the entire world. This voice was late mornings spent lounging in a messy bed with the window open and a breeze filtering through the room and a leg tossed over his and a hand buried in his hand. It was vanilla milkshakes and piping hot chips, scalding Yorkshire tea in the mornings and buttered croissants. This voice was piles of pancakes drowning in maple syrup on the morning of December 24._ _

__

__This voice was everything in the world that Louis loved, which fit perfectly, since it belonged to the person Louis loved the most in the world._ _

__

__“Louis, my love. I’m Harry. Can you speak to me, darling? Want to hear your pretty voice,” Harry purred, silk head scarves tangled in satin curls. Louis made a sound in the back of his throat, trying to clear it like Harry had but only getting a fragment of the sound. His heart sped up and he felt it throbbing in his veins, fast and alive and hard. He took a deep breath, tongue heavy in his mouth as he tried to speak. “Harry, I lobe you,” he slurred, voice thick from a lifetime of not using it. His words were marmalade thick, heavy on the ends and sweet in the middle. Harry laughed at how new he sounded, his laugh like birds flying and dipping above the waves, as he stepped closer with his eyes shining with happy tears. “You love me, Tomlinson?” Harry teased, voice like a hazy summer day. Louis nodded, murmured a “Yes o’course I lobe you,” in a voice that burned brightly like the sparklers Harry had bought him once so that he could pretend he was Harry Potter and that Niall was Voldemort and they were dueling while Harry stood in the back, laughing and snapping pictures to print out and hang in the hallway with the other pictures of their family._ _

__

__“Come here and hug me, birthday brat,” Harry smiled fondly, long summers spent with their toes dipping into the icy pond behind their house, “And talk some more. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything quite as lovely as your voice in all my life.” Louis lets out another wet laugh, tears falling from his lowered lashes and onto his warm cheeks. There’s just something about hearing the person you love tell you they love you over and over again, and in Louis’ very experienced opinion on hearing, he thinks it’s easily the best sound in the world._ _

__

__Louis hops of the bench, giggling at the sound of his shoes slapping against the tile as he lands, mumbling a mantra of “Harry, Harry, Harry, baby love, my love, I love you darling baby” while he all but launches himself into Harry’s open arms._ _

__

__Harry is always so open and giving, that even when he hugs and whispers beautiful things into the shell of Louis’ ear, they all aim to make **Louis** happy. Harry whispers that he’s beautiful in a voice as light as champagne and he breathes how brave Louis is in a voice that feels like drunken dancing and dirty grinding in a heated club. He’s everywhere as he envelops Louis in his embrace, his scent of raspberries and cinnamon melting into Louis’ every pore and making him feel alive._ _

__

__Harry’s chest is solid and warm as Louis presses against it, his fingers absentmindedly reaching up to toy with a springy bit of Harry’s curls as an idea creeps into his mind and he slowly presses his ear against the left side of Harry’s chest._ _

__

__Louis can hear Harry’s heart._ _

__

__His breathing stills as he presses more firmly against the warmth of Harry’s chest, eyes fluttering closed as he concentrates on the heady drumming of the love of his life’s heartbeat._ _

__

__Louis has never known anything could sound so strong. It’s loud against his ear, beating hotly and thickly underneath where his face is laid. It’s not the first time he’s felt Harry’s heartbeat, nor is it the first time he’s ever smashes his face against it, but hearing it is so much more than simply feeling it._ _

__

__It sounds strong and safe and it sounds like everything Louis has ever needed or wanted._ _

__

__He hears a rustling sound from above him and it startles him out of his HeartBeat trance, his ears unused to the whirlwind of sounds coming from everywhere and anywhere, and he glances up to find Harry staring at him._ _

__

__Harry’s eyes are infinitely soft as he peers down at Louis, iced jade coloured warm with love and glazed sweetly in happy tears. He clears his throat, the rough sandpaper sound making Louis’ toes curl and shivers run down his spine._ _

__

__“What’re you listening to, darling?”_ _

__

__Harry’s voice rushes over Louis again and he closes his eyes, the rich amber of his boy’s voice painting him in lovely warm light that seeps into the very marrow of Louis’ bones and his veins. Harry has always filled Louis with the loveliest things in the world, has always shown him the beauty of the light and of life, and in this moment Louis is so full of the purest love for Harry that he's slightly dizzy with it. He too clears his throat, the sound of it still nowhere near as throaty as Harry’s but still rough like the brush of a cat’s tongue, before he tries out his words again._ _

__

__“Listening to your heart, my love.”_ _

__

__Louis wrinkles his nose at his words, still embarrassed of the slurred and sticky quality of them, the way they drip out his mouth slowly like the syrup he had for breakfast. Harry laughs, lighting up the room with the sound of cerulean waves crashing against the shore. A few tears slip down Harry's cheeks and he cradles Louis' hand which had been carding through his curls to his chest tightly, right over his heart._ _

__

__“It belongs to you anyways, Lou,” he whispers, drowsy summer nights spent sipping wine on the back porch. “What does it sound like?”_ _

__

__Louis laughs, bleary and stuffed but still so wonderfullly loud. He closes his eyes, curling his fingers against the fabric of Harry’s sweater. He doesn’t say a word for a moment, wants to get his mind in order and wants Harry to understand him fully and completely when he speaks, because it’s rather difficult to try and get your mouth to say what your hands have always done._ _

__

__But when he does speak, his words are clearer than before but still somewhat glossy, like thick honey collected in sweet little pockets of a bee hive. But despite the glazed quality of his words, Harry understands Louis like he never has before when he smiles and breathes out just four words, bright and dazzling and so utterly in love._ _

__

__“It sounds like Home.”_ _

__

__And that’s all there is to know._ _

**Author's Note:**

> if you're not feeling too shy, [come say hi to me on tumblr!](https://bulletprooofbarnes.tumblr.com/)


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